Forward Biased (Less-than-current Events)

"Deer Lord..."

Via Ralph Bristol, we have a short AP story that needs little comment from me.

Deer Hunt On Church Grounds Shocks Parishioners

GERMANTOWN, Md. -- Some members of a Maryland church are dismayed that hunters were allowed to shoot some of the deer that roamed the property.

On Monday, hunters used shotguns to kill deer that were stripping vegetation from the Dayspring Church's 206-acre property in Germantown.

Dayspring is part of the nondenominational Christian Church of the Saviour, whose 10 congregations are known for their commitment to the environment and opposition to war.

One member objected that culling the deer was an act of violence on holy ground.

But Dayspring's pastor, the Rev. Jim Hall, said officials estimate the number of deer in the area at about 200 per acre -- so many that the habitat for other animals was being damaged.

During the hunt, church administrator Andrea Burgard said she and two other employees held a silent prayer for the deer, because the animals were "part of our church community."

There's got to be a Dick Cheney joke in there somewhere, but I haven't thought of it.

Yikes...!

Just in case you didn't surf over to the Carnival of Crazy (shame, shame!), I had to post this.  It's just too incredibly bizarre not to.

Mostly it's the picture that's so bizarre.  I've chosen not to post it here because it still gives even me the creeps.  It's perfectly work-safe, though.

Cyclops Kitten

Cy was born on December 28th with profound physical anomolies. He lived for one day. During his short life, Traci Allen snapped his photograph. That simple act ensured that that Cy would achieve the kind of immortality that eludes normal cats and humans.

The Associated Press released the photo, which was distributed by Yahoo News on January 9th with very little information. Almost immmediately, a big percentage of the estimated 20 million existing weblogs posted the picture. Cy made quite an impression! Forums were ablaze with both serious and silly discussions of the “cyclops kitten”. The main question was... is the photo real or a hoax? We’ve all seen so many Photoshopped jokes on the net, we have to be skeptical about anything this weird. There was a hue and cry from many who pointed out that a kitten’s eyes do not open for at least a week after birth. But the Associated Press took steps to verify the photo’s authenticity, including analyzing the memory card from Traci Allen’s camera. Both Snopes and the Museum of Hoaxes assure us this photo is real.

More news stories explained the condition that caused Cy’s deformities. Holoprosencephaly is a disorder caused by the failure of the prosencephalon (the embryonic forebrain) to sufficiently divide into the double lobes of the cerebral hemispheres. The result is a single-lobed brain structure and severe skull and facial defects. In most cases of holoprosencephaly, the malformations are so severe that babies die before birth.

You have to admit, it is an unforgettable picture. Once you get past the weirdness, he’s as cute as he can be. Cy’s short life and distinctive appearance have inspired tributes that most people would be lucky to ever have.

Hey, if Snopes says it's real, it's real.

UPDATE:  Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned.  I neglected to link back to the blogger who actually posted this story, and I would certainly be miffed if someone did that to me.

It came from Miss Cellania, and this is all the worse because she's a gen-yoo-ine Kentucky Woman, as Neil Diamond might say, and a good writer, too.  Check her out.

REUPDATE:  Thanks to CERDIP, I just realized that all the Snipurl links from Miss Cellania's post which I so slothfully copied and pasted did not work from here.  I have therefore removed them from this post, but they're still available at Miss Cellania's.

I usually test such things, but, as usual, the one time I don't test them is the time I get a dozen broken links.  While I had heard of Snipurl, I had never used it or registered with their service, and evidently "snipped" URLs must be used from the site at which they were intended to be used from.

Just surf over to the place from which I shamelessly stole them, and while a couple of the links do seem broken even there, most of them do work.

"Danger Mouse:" a case study

Ever wonder just how an urban legend gets started?

You know, those stories that make the rounds on email and end up all over the web in collections of offbeat "news" and such.  Like the story of the guy who fastened a JATO jet engine to his car just to see what would happen, and ended up as a new feature on a cliff face.

Never happened, but that doesn't stop the stories from circulating.

Well, we now have a great opportunity to watch the formation of a new urban legend that started just a couple of weeks ago.  To wit:

A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

One common feature of an urban legend is the concept of Karma, of someone getting what he deserved.  This meme can perpetuate even the most implausible of stories.

Continuing...

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No one was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

How about that.

There's just one problem.  Well, two, actually.  The guy changed his story the next day:

A small-town rumor that sparked world-wide interest about a mouse burning down a house has been found to be untrue.

The mouse story, however, has been doused by Mares.

"It's really humorous more than anything that a mouse burned down the house," he told KOAT-TV in Albuquerque. The mouse was dead when it hit the burning leaves.

Mares said he trapped and killed the critter and tossed it on the fire.

The flames, he said, probably reached his house because they were driven by high winds.

Capt. Jim Lyssy of the Fort Sumner Fire Department said the rumor probably got started because there was "a little too much excitement" at the time of the fire.

But wait...there's more!  How much would you pay for a flaming mouse?  $39.99?  $29.99?  NO!  You get one flaming mouse absolutely FREE, with no shipping charges!

(Singing)  "The rat came back the very next day
The rat came back—we knew he was a goner, but
The rat came back—he just wouldn't stay away..."

Because, the very next day, Mares changed his story again, claiming that it was indeed the flaming mouse that brought his house down.

Was it really a mouse that burned down Luciano Mares' house? Or was it just the wind?

Mares' story of a flaming mouse that scampered from a burning pile of leaves into his rural home Saturday drew international media attention. Then on Monday, the 81-year-old told an Albuquerque television station that strong wind spread burning leaves, leveling his home of more than two decades.

But on Tuesday, Mares and his nephew stood by his original version that a mouse was the culprit.

"That dang mouse crawled in there," Mares said in a telephone interview from a motel in Fort Sumner, where he is staying with his nephew. "I have an awful hate for those critters."

In the interview, Mares recounted three times the series of events Saturday: A little mouse got caught in one of the glue traps he'd set in and around his home. He was pleased -- mice were a nuisance, they'd been bothering him for some time, leaving droppings everywhere. And they were hard to get rid of. This mouse, too, was resilient -- trapped but still moving. The glue was sticky; he couldn't pull the mouse off.

So, according to Mares, he went outside and threw the whole deal -- mouse and trap -- onto the burning leaves. The mouse, now ablaze, scrambled to safety, then headed back for the house and disappeared inside a window. About 90 seconds later, the house was on fire.

How did the mouse run away, still trapped in the glue?

"The fire melted the glue and he got away," Mares said.

So, which was it?

My guess is that the guy doesn't really know what the dickens happened, except that his house caught fire.  And note:  anyone who starts a fire in his yard when conditions are as tinder-box dry as they were is monumentally stupid anyway.  It's a wonder he didn't burn the whole community down.

I find it implausible that the amount of fur on a small mouse could burn long enough, and hotly enough, to catch his house on fire.  But maybe that's just me.

On the other hand, the idea that the wind simply blew burning leaves toward the house is extremely plausible.

So, there you have it.  The story of the "mouse who got his revenge" will continue in perpetuity, regardless of whether it's true.  Just google "mouse fire" and see what you get.

Incidentally, I have to give credit to those Snopes people.  They were on top of this story immediately.

Do we need a new award?

It would doubtless be cruel to have a "World's Dumbest Scam Victim" award, which helps to explain why there isn't one.  But if there were, these folks would doubtless qualify.  But there isn't an award like that, so it doesn't matter.  Just sayin' is all.

In the alleged scam, con men posing as civil engineers tell a landowner their instruments indicate a hidden treasure somewhere on the property.

They tell the landowner they need to put surety money on the spot of the buried treasure to be blessed before the treasure can be recovered.

In the Springdale case, the resident placed $30,000 on the spot, as did the phony civil engineers.

The money was left on the spot overnight. After waiting several days for the men to return, the Springdale resident discovered fake money had been substituted for the real cash and the resident's $30,000 was missing, police said.

'Nuff said, folks.

(Hat tip to Ralph Bristol.)

The legal profession may never recover

Let me make sure I get this straight.

A woman in Ormond Beach, FL, one Diane Johnson, buys a pork loin at her local Publix grocery store.  She gets home and prepares it for her family's evening meal last Tuesday.  In the process of preparing or serving it, she discovers that there's a bullet in it.  A bullet in her pork loin casserole.

But this isn't the strange part (and no, I'm not making this up). 

All she wants is a replacement piece of meat.  Publix is happy to comply with a $10 refund and a fresh pork loin.

She isn't going to sue anyone.  No one.  Not Publix, not the slaughterhouse the meat came from, not the ammo manufacturer, no one.  After all, she said, no one got hurt.

Local lawyers are still in shock, but plan to file a Class Action against Ms. Johnson for Wrongful Denial of Income, Illegal Display of Common Sense (going against Florida community standards), Willful Infliction of Emotional Distress, and all associated Medical Expenses.  Don't try to tell them that no one got hurt.

Ok, I made that last part up, but I can just see the Volusia County Bar Association staring, slack-jawed, at the local newspaper, wondering just what the world has come to when a woman can find a bullet in her pork loin and not only remain calm and emotionally distress-free, but refuse to cash in on this country's Powerball Tort Lottery that has made millionaires out of mental midgets who spill coffee in their laps while driving, not to mention a whole lot of lawyers.

That pig may not have dodged a bullet, but Publix sure did.  And in a small way, so did we all.

Just imagine—is it possible that tort reform in this country could be enacted, not from Washington, but by its citizens?  (Thinks for a moment.)  Nah.

One other thing that came out in the story—Publix officials are puzzled over how the bullet escaped detection beforehand, since all meat is scanned by metal detectors before reaching store shelves.  Why on earth would they scan...on second thought, don't answer that question.

(Hat tip to Ralph Bristol.)

UPDATE:  Thanks to Brad over at The Unrepentant Individual for the link—and he remembers another case that didn't work out quite this way.

Worse than "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?"

Orac over at Respectful Insolence notes another example of strange marketing ideas from pharmaceutical companies.

You've seen these guys while waiting at your doctor's office, right?  Walking in wearing a business suit/dress and bearing a briefcase or sachel or something filled with stuff like this along with the drug samples.

For some reason the folks at Janssen Pharmaceutica  thought it would be just a peachy idea to label packages of microwave popcorn with the name of an antipsychotic drug and give them out.

Why?

What's the tie-in?  Do schizophrenics eat more popcorn than normal people?  Are we supposed to be "just crazy" for this kind of popcorn?

And be sure to read the comments—some of them are better than the original post.

"You want a legacy? I've got yer legacy right here" dept.

In future years, when you think of our 42nd president, what will come to mind?

A great leader?  A great, empathic communicator?  Someone who pushed through important legislation?

Be honest, now.  You're gonna think of the favorite three-letter-word of the entire human race.  And, with all due respect, I'm not talking about "God."  It starts with "s" and ends with "ex."  Think, now.

China Names Condom for Bill Clinton

A Chinese company is honoring ex-president Bill Clinton by naming a new line of condoms after him - along with a companion line of condoms that will be named after his ex-girlfriend, Monica Lewinsky.

...The condoms will display Chinese spellings: Kelitun and Laiwensiji.

Well, it sure beats "bite the wax tadpole."

A 12-pack of Clintons is expected to cost $5.00, with Lewinskys selling at a discounted price of just over $3.00.

How about that—a Lewinski is cheaper.  Who'da thunk it?

...Clinton is the only U.S. president to be honored with his own condom brand line.

That's the second time it's mentioned that this whole thing is "honoring" Mr. Clinton.  This "honor" is one I could do without, but maybe that's just me.

New York Sen. Hillary Clinton [D, Mortified] was unavailable to comment on her husband's latest achievement.

No, I didn't add that last line (except for the part in [brackets]).  But it seems that, from her perspective, just when you think this stuff is old news and won't keep showing up, something like this has to happen.

Run, Hillary, run!

(Hat tip to my wife.)

I didn't realize they needed a landing strip

I mean, I thought they had VTOL and all.  Up and down.

Via The Steel Deal we discover that the Puerto Rican town of Lajas wants to build a landing strip to "welcome" visitors from outer space.  (No link to the story yet.)

(UPDATE:  Here's the link to the story.)

LAJAS, Puerto Rico (AP) - People in this sleepy hamlet are so sure they have been receiving other-worldly visitors, they want to build a UFO landing strip to welcome them.

A bright green sign along a lonely country road in southwestern Puerto Rico proudly displays a silhouette of a flying saucer and two words: "Extraterrestrial Route."

Most Puerto Ricans laughed when a horse farmer installed the sign on his property at the request of Reynaldo Rios, a local elementary school teacher who says he's been communicating with alien visitors to this U.S. territory since he was a child.

Rios, a 39-year-old with a goatee and a shock of dark hair, won't be ignored. With the blessing of a local government desperate for tourist dollars, he's dedicated himself to building the UFO landing strip.

And this guy's a teacher.  Of young children.

Steel says, "I am willing to bet hard currency that this WILL involve U.S. tax payer dollars." 

What do you think?

Seriously underestimated, I think

Forbes Magazine estimates the cost of being Batman.

(Via the Big Picture.)

Safe for work--but not for your sanity

Whatever you do, don't click on this link.

You have been warned.