I might even change my name to "Jetson"

It suddenly occurred to me the other day that many of you are doubtlessly undergoing severe anguish and suffering due to not being able to think of a suitable Christmas present for me.

Being the selfless, compassionate soul that I am, it grieves me to no end that you are suffering so.  I cannot allow this to continue if there is anything at all I can do to alleviate it.

To that end, I offer the perfect gift suggestion—not only for me, naturally, but for any hard-to-buy-for friends and relatives, such as your great aunt Bertha.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Skycar.

For your convenience, it's featured in the Neiman-Marcus Group Inc. Big Book of Total Bargain Madness;  the prototype retails for a mere $3.5 million.

Called a volantor, it can fly 350 mph, burns alcohol, is fuel-efficient, and is said to be remarkably agile and maneuverable.

While for now a pilot's license is required, the Skycar is designed to require no more skill than is required to drive an automobile.  You point it in the direction you want to go, and a computer does the flying.  (This sounds way too good to be true.)

It has eight engines of the high-efficiency rotary Wankel type (remember the early Mazdas?) that weigh less than 80 lbs. each, and occupy less than one cubic foot.  Each develops 150 hp.

A limited number will be available at first—actually, there is no guarantee at all when (if) they will go into actual production.  But when they reach 500 units per year, Moller expects the price to be about $500,000, and to fall much lower in later years, say, to $60,000 to $80,000.  Used Skycars will then soon start showing up at Crazy Ernie's Clean Used Volantors, where credit problems are no problem.  Hurry—they're flying out the door.  Models from $20,000 up; no money down and low, low monthly payments.

Now, actually, there seems to be some question as to whether or not this is for real.  (That's why the picture I used was one from Popular Science, not from Moller's website.)  But I prefer to think that, in a few years, I might hop into my Skycar with my wife and pop over the mountains to East TN to visit my parents for the weekend.

This had better be for real or I'm gonna be really irritated.

(Hat tip to Ralph Bristol.)

Comments

[Phoenix]

I'm going to start this thread out completely off-target. :) That way you won't have to worry about not being a good moderator. (Not that being a good moderator means you have to control a thread.. )

I think Christmas should be banned completely. Christmas has morphed into Greed & Grunt mentality for everyone, and it just causes immense stress no matter how happy and fun holiday gatherings start out to be. Which is to say - they start out to be happy and usually end up making someone really sad. What I like the most is having to go out and buy presents for family members I do not otherwise speak to for years at a time. Which is to say - I don't speak to them at all other than via some dumb present I send them once a year with a little tag that says: To: / From:

I know our economy depends on the Christmas season to boosts its sales and all that, and that's fine. Maybe, though, we could change the tradition to creating a week when everyone has to go out and spend a bunch of money on charity. Make it a law. If you don't 'give' to charity during that week, every day of that week, and equal sum of what you would spend for the regular Christmas fiasco, snipers come and shoot you.